RSS Feed

Tag Archives: Bipolar

World Suicide Prevention Day 2020

Good god. I’m setting a calendar reminder for all of the September 9ths for all of the future ever: “Avoid social media tomorrow

The Worst? – Seeing or Not Seeing Manic Symptoms

Trying to decide which is the worst: Being told I am displaying symptoms of mania when I don’t see them (& they are legit), or displaying symptoms of mania when I do see them (& they are legit)?

Does there have to be a worst? Yes. And it is whichever I am in at the time. And I usually hate myself at the time, or the “myself” that is bipolar and not me as a person that’s more than bipolar. And at the least, I question my very existence and how I present myself and what’s real.

And And And

What Have You Lost?

What Have You Lost?

After keeping my name and my work offline for several years, I visited The Brooklyn Art Library, and decided to submit a sketchbook of my own.

My book is titled “What Have You Lost?” From my Author Bio:

I found a little zine in a stack of old papers in my parents’ basement. The question and confession are still true.

In it I wrote:
“WHAT AM I DOING? Once spoken aloud, all statements sound trite.
“OBSERVED: in store / on subways / on street.
“MY CONFESSION: I think this is why I stopped writing.”

So I wondered: What can I write that’s honest? What can I write that’s true?

*What Have You Lost?*

And I started writing again, here….

I’m dropping it off tomorrow and once it’s been digitized I will post the link here. This is new. This is big. It’s me, with my name and everything. See you soon.

This Is Universal

I write a lot about “this is bipolar.”

Being tired and wanting a break mid-day at the end of the work week is universal. Bleh.


Coffee: I Have To Drink It. But Do I Have To Like It?

Heads swiveled in the Starbucks line when I said Coffee is new to me. What type do you recommend? And can you please fill it only half-way?”

It seems to be unusual to be a mid-thirties American who has never ordered coffee – straight old coffee – before. And let me add, it tastes gross when I am trying it now. It’s a panacea to help with my exhaustion because of my heart condition, and because of a side effect of new psych meds.

But, ugh.


(Photo courtesy of Photojojo. Yes, you can buy it!)

How to Write a Story Without Details?

Am figuring out how to write the post “Psych Ward: Patient Transformation” without using too many details. I have a wonderful story about a patient who was in when I was, but don’t know how to write it. 

Do I just go with a fake initial (J.*  — *Not the real name)? I want to be respectful that it’s his story, not mine.



What Do You Want To Know About the Psych Ward? A POLL.

Weigh in! I’ve gotten quite a few questions about what it’s really like in the psych ward, and I mention things off-hand that really surprise them – That I think is basic, since this was my third time in. So – Here’s a poll: What do you want to know? I’ll answer them in the order I get feedback. You don’t have to be on the “outside” – Others with mental illness might want to compare visits, and leave comments!

There’s also the one I forgot – Why did I go to the psych ward – How did it start? How did I communicate my hospitalization?

Grey Hair = Accomplishment

I have glimpsed strands of white hair at my temples this week, without searching for it.

I’m so excited. Grey hair, white hair is an accomplishment to me. It means that I am aging, and that I’ve made it long enough to go grey. I’ve achieved so much. I’m here!

%d bloggers like this: