My drawing from last night. Helped me relax so I could sleep, now that I’m on fewer meds. It was a good part of my day:
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I crossed over sometime in the last 24 hours. This may be a small blog, but I’ve got solid support. Thanks, all!
Liking My New Routine – And Singing!
The snow is such a beautiful sight tonight.
I’m settling into my new routine, with some nice surprises (I’ve cooked dinner two nights in a row!), and some things to get used to, like falling asleep less easily because I’m on fewer medications.
Today I went to an intake session for DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, which is especially helpful for people with borderline personality disorder, but many of the skills will help me, too). The group DBT sessions were set up as part of my outtake plan. Turns out, I need to have a once-a-week cognitive behavioral therapist appointment set up before I can start my group DBT sessions. Ugh. More paperwork to add to the post-hospital paperwork I’m already working on.
Since I have to wait a few weeks before starting group DBT, I went to the bookstore. Instead of buying the DPT Skills Workbook For Bipolar Disorder, I bought three art books. Less writing and forms, more fun. So, the first two are for looking at things differently:
An Illustrated Life: Drawing Inspiration From The Private Sketchbooks of Artists, Illustrators, and Designers, by Danny Gregory.
Just Draw It!: The Dynamic Drawing Course For Anyone With A Pencil & Paper, by Sam Piyasena and Beverly Philp.
And, lastly, for easy inspiration so I can just get down to it: 642 Things To Write About, by The San Francisco Writer’s Grotto.
I am not going to create Survival Kits or put playlists together or stack up a bunch of books that I am capable of reading. I’m going to sing when I cook and draw pictures and appreciate the snow in March. Eventually, I’ll find an affordable CBTherapist. For now, I’m going to relax and enjoy things.
[snow photo from February]
Transitioning Back Into A Full Life
I was in the psych ward for a week. More about that another time.
When I was getting discharged, another patient asked if I was excited. I moved my hand in a kind of forward wave. I said I was good. If I was excited, I wouldn’t be ready to leave.
And I am good. I can sit still. I listen. I laugh. I made new friends, as one does in such an intensive environment, and oddly learned how to play chess from another patient who taught me in order to keep me awake for morning meds five days in.
I’ve got three doctor app’ts between today and Monday. And I start work tomorrow. I’m nervous about that, but I’m going to give the techniques and skills I learned at psych a try. Better is great. Thank goodness for that.
(This is a photo I played with, using the ComicBook! app. Sort of like snow on the beach. My new iPad screensaver.)
Snow On The Beach
Snow on the beach is my #5 most favorite thing. Growing up by the coast, I preferred the off-season.
We are at a hotel overlooking the sea, and it’s been a wonderful vacation. I haven’t needed ocean sounds on my Ambience app to fall asleep. Most mornings, at home, I wake up remembering a dream about the sea. For three days, the roar of high tide has woken me up instead. Lovely.
Grey Hair = Accomplishment
I have glimpsed strands of white hair at my temples this week, without searching for it.
I’m so excited. Grey hair, white hair is an accomplishment to me. It means that I am aging, and that I’ve made it long enough to go grey. I’ve achieved so much. I’m here!
Bronchitis Lingering = Sexy Lounge Singer Voice
I feel better, but have a lingering 1-pack-day voice. I figure I should use it for the greater good, and sing like Rosemary Clooney, with a most fabulous dress, and, naturally, back up dancers:
Pocket-Sized Survival Kits: Sleep – Awake
Working on pages 21 [depression on the left, (hypo)mania on the right]: Things to do when I’m back at home, anywhere but work, really.
Pages 10-11 are “How to Go to Sleep” for (hypo)mania, and “How to Stay Awake” for depression, below.
Now, I’ll follow the advice in my kit and go to bed.
superfabulousgettingby 